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firebird - firstly, sorry for your loss :( I lost my girls (puppy dogs) 4.5yrs ago and still tear up about it sometimes. They truly are the best friends you can ever have *hugs*
Secondly, I wanted to say "thanks for the great read", and when are you fragging those zoas?!?! You have some beauties there!! I'm super jealous!! :D
But lastly, (and you've probably already discovered this by now), you can spot mandarin eggs from lighting the water from below after they've done their dance. So if you hold a torch on the outside of the tank below water level and shine up, you should spot them floating on the surface.
If you find that they're sucked into the overflow quickly, turn all your pumps off just before lights-out each night and that way you can collect the eggs :) (Your powerhead would probably be washing them around a bit). And if you want to try hatching them, I found that the best method (for me) was to collect them into the top half of a soda bottle with some 50 micron mesh secured in place of the lid (with a rubber band) and then floated in the parent tank. That way they got the same water, the right temp, and some mild flow :) Worked a treat!
This link shows what I tried before that though, the last of which was also a success :) Good luck :)
http://masa.asn.au/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=113&t=248242