It's A Dark Day For Me

Discussion in 'Large Reef Tanks' started by Lesley, Sep 7, 2017.

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  1. Lesley

    Lesley Member

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    It's a dark day for me
    When my tank burst & I lost so much
    I honestly thought that was going to be my worst day reefing ever !

    But unfortunately this is now the most gut wrenching post I will ever have to make

    14 weeks ago my husband of 31yrs married 39yrs together woke up and suddenly realised he didn't love me anymore
    So I've left the home and had visitation with the tank twice a week since
    We have decided it's not able to be reconciled so this weekend all my stock will be sold
    Tank emptied and broken down for sale
    I Am distraught beyond belief
    In 3 months I've lost my
    Home. My husband & now my tank
    I hope even though I won't have my tank I will still be an active helpful & useful member of this group
    I have made some wonderful friends
    I might not have a tank anymore but I still have the knowledge or I at least pretend too

    So if I am a bit grumpy for a while you know why , please forgive me in advance

    I hope when I have a permanent home to have a tank again but that will be a long time

    I am gutted
    It was never able to reach its potential
    Thanks guys
    Goodbye my fishie friends
    Hope you find good homes
    IMG_5646.JPG
  2. Wrangy

    Wrangy Member

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    Oh Lesley :( I am so unbelievably sorry to hear this, it brought me to tears reading this post and I truly hope nothing like this would ever happen to anyone. It's absolutely heart breaking and gut wrenching and I can't even begin to imagine how you feel.

    I know I'm a state away but at the same rate if you need someone to chat to or just anything that I could help with please don't hesitate! I truly am sorry.
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  3. Sam Parker

    Sam Parker Moderator

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    Sorry to see it happen Lesley, both personally and for your tank. As always, let me know if I can help with anything at all
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  4. somethingfishy76

    somethingfishy76 Member

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    So very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you, just remember there is always hope and never to give up on it.
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  5. suta42

    suta42 Member

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    My heart goes out to you Lesley. But I guess there's nothing comforting to say at a time like this.

    Won't be easy for a long time, I experienced a different loss when dad died a few months ago. Felt like part of me went with him. :(

    But resilience is probably the greatest gift you can give yourself. If you can, focus on what's in your control, not what isn't.

    Kind regards,
    Angie
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  6. Andrew B

    Andrew B Member

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    Oh Lesley, so sorry to hear this news. Remember its not always about the fall, its about how you get back up :)
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  7. RobbieMVFC

    RobbieMVFC Member

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    I am very sorry to read this Lesley. Your husband may no longer love you but we always will. I wish you well where ever the next chapter in your life takes you. Please remember that their is always friends here.
    We all hope you will stick around here as we need your contribution/advice and friendship.
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  8. Mattres

    Mattres Member

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    So shattering to hear this Lesley :(You have a family here if you ever need anything.
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  9. Savage Henry

    Savage Henry Member

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    Very sorry to hear Lesley. I'm normally a smart arse on Forums like this, but what you have decided to confide on this Forum, what you are going through, makes me very sad. I understand, the person who admits they no longer love the other has already made up their mind and sort of come to accept that and have sort of moved on a little. This makes it so much harder for the other half who may have had no idea the relationship was ending. And, even if they did realise it was ending, they weren't ready for it and are still not prepared for it.

    A close family relative went through this and was totally devastated. However, over time this person has gotten back on their feet and are enjoying life again.

    I work my arse off and don't have much of a life and have very little support from other people, but when I come home I look at my tank and although sometimes I think I should give it up, there are many hours I look at it and just love it. It gives me heaps of joy and so I hope you might once you've settled consider keeping even a two foot tank loaded with even just softies and a pair of clowns. You've got the experience under your belt now and well planned small tanks once established can be easy to keep.
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2017
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  10. Lesley

    Lesley Member

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    Thanks everyone
    I am a strong woman and I know I will be ok
    I just need time
    And I need to get rid of the tank it's creating so much sadness everytime I visit
    He's offered to keep it running till I am settled but I Couldn't manage a tank this size let along afford a house big enough to put it in
    Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement
    Xoxoxo
  11. daveH

    daveH Team Leader

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    Unbelievable. Such sad news Lesley. You know we all wish all the very best for your future.
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  12. gtrxu1

    gtrxu1 Member

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    So sad to hear, I'm sure you will bounce back and have an awesome tank again in the future, best of luck.
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  13. Fmxchick

    Fmxchick Member

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    So sorry to hear Lesley. Unfortunately I was in the same predicament 7 yrs ago when my daughter was born and I know the hurt you must be feeling. The only thing I can say is that although I went through dark moments I must say I didn't really know how strong and independent I really was until this happened. After going through what I did I now feel that absolutely nothing can bring me down again. Although I was never dependent financially on my ex I was emotionally. As long as you have family and friends by your side you will come out of this an even stronger person. Best of luck to you and here's hoping sooner rather than later you get to do what brings you joy yet again, being another tank or whatever your heart desires. xx
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  14. ezza

    ezza Member

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    Lesley, I am so very sorry to hear all of this. It's not right or fair. I wish I could take all of your animals for you... I am in the wrong state though. If you need a place to stay, you are welcome to come to stay with me, we have a spare room and you are welcome to it. I honestly mean that. Please do not feel like you are alone, because you are not and never will be.

    *HUG*

    All my love xxx
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  15. ReeferRob

    ReeferRob Solidarité

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    Lesley, if I could come there and give you a big ole hug I would, I'm absolutely gutted. You have my email if you wanna talk. I don't always know what to say, but I can damn sure listen if you need an ear.
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