Off-Topic

[MichelleShocked]

Ok so I went shopping the other day and because I don't have a penis, I spent some time comparing prices/weights/value :p of items. I also read labels and ingredients but that was more of a Saggitarian thing than a particularly female thing, I think. So anyway, I was in the coffee aisle, looking at the different coffees. I wasn't yet in dire need of coffee and I don't own one of those fancy contraptions that you load with those weird pods or capsules (and when the fuck did coffee go all Space Trek???) so I can't really say why I was looking at them (though it was probably also because I don't have a penis) other than just stuffing around (apparently both men and women do that). So I picked up a couple of them to read the backs. You know...like in a library.... And this is what I found:

"white star dust"???? stardust???? Are you fucking KIDDING me????? What the fuck happened here?? Did the labelling plant get its orders mixed up and send out the wine labels to the coffee emporium? Did a wine blurb writer (yes, blurb is an actual word. look it up if you don't believe me) get sacked for being a pretentious dickhead and find a job with a coffee company? Or.....did a coffee company just string a series of lush words together in the cynical belief that there are people stupid enough and insecure enough to be sucked into buying such bullshit??Please don't let them be right.....*sigh*.....they probably are though...... I'm not even going to comment on this one. I have a headache now.

 

[MichelleShocked]

 

[DavidS]

Thats just too complicated for coffee.

 

[Agent M]

I'll keep this in mind next time I need a pretentious cup of coffee!

 

[Agent M]

I'd settle for a cup of tea made this way and stirred with a stick thinking I was in the lap of luxury over that ridiculous coffee! :p

 

[Buddy]

I cant really say much since ive never had a coffee before but I still got a laugh out of it. Oh... and space trek lol.

 

[RobbieMVFC]

Hi Michelle, I am not sure what’s going on in the coffee world out there ?
I work in Collins street at the so called Paris end where there are dozens of café’s yet none of them can make a decent coffee .
To top it off my employer has decide to buy organic coffee FFS!
We did find one café that did make a good coffee but they take half an hour to make a coffee for you :(.

 

[Priscacara]

Lol replace the b in blanc with a w and it says it all.

Buying a cup of coffee always reminds me of that milk add where all the names are reeled off, ad should end with him saying I just want the bloody white stuff that cows used to produce.

And despite the spiralling costs I always buy Nescafe....................except when i was going through my moccona phase (and coincidently their coffee started to taste shit).

 

[Sarg]

They would know the sh!t they are spinning but people who buy pods deserve it ;)

Speaking of which the machine will be warmed up now..... back soon :)

 

[aussieant32]

yer, I use the lavazza pods at work cause often I dont have time to sit and perculate :P Not at home though

 

[Sarg]

Coffee is my addiction, Unfortuneatly if I don't have it now I get the headache. One day ill go cold turkey lol right now though its all good. I buy my coffee as green beans and roast em up myself which is a bit of fun.

 

[Priscacara]

I used to go through 6 of the small white cups of coffee in a 4 hour watch with a heaped spoon in each, around 25 to 30 cups a day all up. Shore based before i got discharged so that got cut back to about 15 a day (had to leave room for the booze!). Once I was a civie I cut it back to about 8 but it took me almost 20 years to get back to the stage of 2 cups a day and no headaches...............I'm slow to change habits :p

 

[Agent M]

...I buy my coffee as green beans and roast em up myself which is a bit of fun.

Wow.... mouth hanging open right now... thats commitment! @Sarg

 

[VaultBoy]

I buy my coffee as green beans and roast em up myself which is a bit of fun.

From where whould one acquire said green beans? I am interested...

 

[Agent M]

I used to go through 6 of the small white cups of coffee in a 4 hour watch with a heaped spoon in each, around 25 to 30 cups a day all up. Shore based before i got discharged so that got cut back to about 15 a day (had to leave room for the booze!). Once I was a civie I cut it back to about 8 but it took me almost 20 years to get back to the stage of 2 cups a day and no headaches...............I'm slow to change habits :p

Wowzers... your poor bladder! At my worst I was at 5 a day and that gave me the heart flutters. Although the lookout with the eyes wouldn't be the one I'd want to take on! I think they made a movie about you @Priscacara, where is that clip... ah here it is!

Also..... @Buddy.... say what?? Never had a coffee?

 

[Buddy]

Nope, never even been able to get past the revolting smell of it to even think about drinking it! Same goes for coffee cake etc.

 

[Agent M]

Not even a mocha?

 

[Buddy]

Don't know what that is lol.

 

[Sarg]

From where whould one acquire said green beans? I am interested...

Why www.coffeesnobs.com.au of course ;)

2.5kg lots usually around the $30 mark a heat gun and the bread maker from the bottom of the cupboard and your laughing.

 

[VaultBoy]

Why www.coffeesnobs.com.au of course ;)

2.5kg lots usually around the $30 mark a heat gun and the bread maker from the bottom of the cupboard and your laughing.

:worship

you have opened my eyes.